Olfactory Factory

As far as pregnancy symptoms go, I haven't had too many. In fact, until our last doctor appointment, I wasn't even fully convinced that there was a baby growing in there. It just didn't add up, the way I wasn't having any sort of symptoms. Today, however, the enhanced sense of smell and repulsiveness to certain smells hit me full force.

It all started prior to 6 a.m. Shea and I were running through the pitch black streets when suddenly, the smell of a skunk was stronger than when we actually got sprayed a few years ago. It was as if the skunk's spray glands were located right under my nose. Of course, at that moment, Shea decided that he wanted to stop and sniff around. As I paused for half a second, I felt the nothing that I had eaten this morning rising up my throat. I literally had to pull Shea away as I gagged. Luckily, my shear strength and determination got us out of the stank area before I let the cookies fly.

Later, after fully recovering from this episode, I was knee deep into my school day. The kids were working on some math related activities and I was walking around checking on them. Walking through one area of the classroom, I smelled a combination of dirt, sweat, and body odor. The smell of a hard working 4th grader who hadn't showered in days. I walked around the room, sniffing my nose around the way Shea does when he is scouting out a good place to pee. By the end of the activity, I had narrowed the stench to two students. Luckily, I was in enough control of my gag reflexes to keep my morning snack down.

After lunch, my stomach wasn't as strong. Now, a social studies activity, I was checking in with a few students on one side of the room, when I heard a fart come from the opposite side. Of course there were giggles, finger pointing, and some embarrassment. Luckily it seemed as only two people had heard it, so there wasn't a complete outburst. The only outburst came when I made my way over to that side of the room. I swear I must have began gagging aloud as I was sure that what moments ago I thought was innocent flatulence, was actually a full blown pants-sh*tting. How could such a massive smell come from such a small body?

I completely avoided that side of the room for the rest of the day. I'm not even sure if those two boys sitting over there finished their assignment. I figured falling a little behind was better than having your teacher puke on you.