Wake Up Call

This morning I made a big mistake. As I was fumbling through the darkness, in hopes of not waking Jeff up, I woke someone else up. Someone hundreds of miles away.

In those early morning hours, I use my multi-purpose iPhone as a flash light. For the first time ever, ehhh, OK, for the first time since my "home button" broke ( Home Button Failure ), my iPhone let me down. Unknowingly, while keeping my phone on for extra light, my finger slipped into my call log. Here, in my call log, was my wonderful, understanding brother-in-law, Jonathan. My finger, of course, hit the button and dialed up big Jon at approximately 5:30 a.m.

As soon as it happened, I realized and hit the End Call button. Damn button was frozen. I hit it repeatedly, feeling more and more nervous with each hit. "Oh my God," I was saying out loud at this point. "Please, oh my God." When I finally got the call to end, it had already rang for a good, solid year and a half. Immediately following my hang up, Jonathan called back. All I could say was, "I'm so sorry. I hit the wrong button. I'm so sorry." And, I genuinely meant it! I felt horrible all day long thinking about how I had alarm clocked Jonathan this morning. 

When I got home from work I got a chance to speak to Jonathan while he was actually awake and aware. The real person I needed to be apologizing to was Lauren, Jonathan's fiance. A saint prior to this little happening, a patron saint after. Poor Lauren thought something was wrong when I called at 5:30 a.m., as I figured they would have, and woke up completely. Awoken completely, she could not fall back to sleep. So, rather than going back to sleep, she did what any patron saint would do and baked blueberry muffins for breakfast. 

So, while a 5:30 a.m. phone call seemingly sucked on the outside, it greatly benefitted Jonathan in the end. I think rather than the incessant apologizing I've been doing, he should be thanking me. No call, no blueberry muffins! 

Flash Back

This past week was spirit week at school. Really, nothing is better. It is fun for the kids, they definitely get into it. It is also great for teachers, as we get to wear very relaxed year each day.

One of the days was 80's day. It's no doubt that the kids, who certainly game clad in 80's attire, had their parents put their outfits together. Well, having been very young in the 80's I wasn't sure about what to wear. I was nearly late to school that morning, as I put changed my outfit 900 times. When I got there, my outfit was accepted as 80'sish.

It's really hard not to feel silly in that muck and guck.

What's even harder than trying not to feel silly in this outfit, was trying to keep some composure while reciting a newly learned math song about fractions. Can you picture it:

Numerator Up

Denominator Down

We can do fractions all around the town

At least I had the kids, in their atari jackets, doing the same thing. Makes you feel a little less silly. 

Oh Boy...

Yesterday was a big day for us. We had a doctor's appointment and were going in expecting to find out the sex of my little friend who is making me fat. Since most people simply ask you to tell them, and I don't like to do anything the normal way, we decided to send the picture. Each picture we sent was prefaced by something along the lines of, "what do you think?"

So, what do you think?

We thought it was pretty obvious. In fact, we both saw it while the doctor was performing the sonogram talking about this and that. 

When we showed my mother, she knew right away. When we showed my brother-in-laws they had some quite entertaining comments, but they too, knew right away. Then, we sent the picture to my dear brother, Nick. Nick's response was not witty or correct. It was in fact, boy or girl? 

Ummm, take a look. I don't care if you don't know much about babies, another unknowing response I got, look at the picture. There are two adorable little legs that will carry my baby boy and his giant family jewels around. 

I couldn't be happier with the results. Boys, unlike girls, don't frighten me after the age of twelve. 

Babies Having Babies

As my pants get tighter, I know that I will soon be needing maternity clothes. So, today, my mother and I did a little maternity shopping. I envisioned us having a ball, toting around bags of bought items, frolicking through the mall arm in arm, and running up the down escalator just for fun. While the scene wasn't quite that,  it was certainly fun, for the most part.

The fun that we have together is had no matter what we are doing. But, with the anticipation of August, it made it a little more exciting. That is, until we walked into Motherhood Maternity. A store that was highly recommended by a friend for their friendliness, wonderful service, and fashionable clothing. Yea, ok.

I don't know if it was because we were in a different mall, because it was a different day, or because this Motherhood Maternity store decided to staff Cruella DeVille at this particular store. The old hag walked up to us and immediately asked, "Are you buying a gift for someone?" I guess I should have been taken that as a compliment, and I might have even basked in the glory of the comment for a mere one second. Then, when my mother told her that we were shopping for me, the grumpy grape gave a sad, disappointed look. Her wrinkly face screamed, "ughhh, babies having babies!" 

I wanted to punch her in her face, but instead I laughed it off. We both knew exactly what her look was for. Apparently she has never heard of a baby face! She did not say another word to us as we browsed the store half-heartedly. I certainly wasn't going to buy anything here now and allow her to get any sort off commission of us. 

I simply decided that I would make this woman even more mad. Since I work in a school, I decided to shout across the store to my mother, "Hey Mom, do you think this outfit would be good for school?" Stupid lady didn't know I was a teacher, so of course she assumed I was a student. Sucker!

Badly Timed Phone Call

With my new teaching job has come some sacrifices. The hardest one for me has definitely giving up my anytime rise time. My new school day begins an hour earlier than it did in New York. Therefore, I must get up earlier. In terms of morning hours, quite a bit earlier. Five-thirty a.m. to be exact.

I have always firmly believed that no one should have to wake up prior to 7 a.m. It seems very inhumane to me. So, 5:30 a.m. is absolutely preposterous.

To compensate for my early rise time, I have been trying to go to bed earlier. My nightly goal is to be in bed by 10 p.m. I am sometimes an overachiever and get up there by 9:30, but most nights I make it bed about 10-10:30.

Last night I happened to get there right at my target time. I was blessed with a night where I fall right asleep. Only to be awoken out of a nice slumber to the sound of my cell phone ringing. I could have answered the phone and screamed a mean, inappropriate comment for waking me up. But, I took the high road and ignored the call altogether.

This morning, when 5:30 a.m. rolled around, I remembered what had happened last night. I felt it would only be fair for me to call this person who had woken me up and return the favor. With phone in hand and an evil sneer on my face, I brought up the friend's number that had called me. As I went to push it, I chickened out. It was too mean. I can think of all the mean things in the world to do to people, but I can't actually do them.

At lunch time, I simply texted this person that with my new rise time, phone calls past 9:30 are not appreciated. I warned that next time I would be glad to provide an early morning wake up call. Next time, yes, next time I will be mean!

Looking Forward!

Tomorrow is jeans day at school. Tomorrow night, Shea will be reunited with his favorite person to follow around, my mother, as she is making a trip out for the week.. Then, on Monday we find out whether the life swimming around in my stomach has a pickle or not.

Looking forward to the next several days. Be excited!

Philly Sheen

Who wouldn't be proud to live in Ohio? The state of Ohio has eight laughable professional sports team, our big Lake Erie has brown water and toxic fish, Lebron James basically sh*t on the state in an hour long special this past summer. Add crappy weather and minimal sunshine, I can't see why the world's population doesn't live here.

Then, my lovely husband, and Daniel Tosh, led me to this glorious youtube video:

Please do watch....it is well worth it!

 The lovely place this lovely man is campaigning for office in is only about forty five minutes away from us here in the big C-land. I've always felt pretty safe with where we live in Cleveland. However, now, knowing that that crazy, psycho man is within in an hour, I feel a little uneasy walking the streets with my dog. 

He seems to be on some sort of drug. Some may say it's crack or cocaine. But me, I'm guessing Phil is on something called Charlie Sheen.