A Garden Salad

There was a Christmas party tonight. I had an important job. Actually, that is an understatement. It was a very important job! I had to pick up the food. Without the food, there would be no party. So basically, per usual, the party wasn't going to start until I showed up.

My trip to the Q-doba to pick up the food was a pretty funny one. I mean, I accomplished my goal, leaving with the food, but not without, of course, a small episode of awkwardness in between. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed a police car pulling in at the same time. The police around here are really out to give tickets, so I immediately tense up and drive worse than I normally do. Trying to keep one eye on Mr. Copper and the other on the parking lot, I grazed the curb and wondered if he noticed. Maybe he'd think I was drunk. I decided not to shop around for the best parking spot and just to park. Don't push my luck.

I walked into Q-doba and had to wait for the seven giants bags of food to be brought out to me. While standing there, the cop came in. A young, short, stout man, he looked me up and down, up and down. I felt as though he were violating me in a way. Then, catching me completely off guard, he sheepishly said, "Your probably going to have the garden salad, huh?" Muted by the awkwardness of this man, I think my response was a grumbled laugh combined with a sarcastic, "yea."

I realize I have nice, muscular, athletic legs. That of course would be the reason he was looking me up and down like that, right?

Ok, I lied. Maybe it was because my sweatpants were super hot.

I wonder what he thought about that garden salad when I left with a few bags full. Enough to feed 25 people.