2010

2010 is leaving me with much to be thankful for. This certainly includes the 60 degree weather present in Northeast Ohio today. With all the great wonders of the past year, I have a feeling 2011 will blow it out of the water. Stay tuned...

Gone Huntin'

If you had asked me a month ago, or even yesterday, I would said that Shea does not have a hunting bone in his body. As of today, I would have to revoke that thought. He does have a little hunter in him.

As we were playing this morning at the park, same as we do every morning, Shea suddenly put his head down, nose in the snow, and caught a whiff of something. He dropped his precious tennis ball and took off. I chased and chased him, through the woods, up and down hills, dodging tree branches and bushes. Then, he darted across a four lane road. Luckily, at this point, still fairly early in the morning, there was not too much traffic. I wasn't too far behind my Shea-boy and could see that he was crossing at a safe time.

He refused to listen to my calls and continued through the wooded hillside on the other side of the street. This side, being a bit more wooded, really slowed me down. I had lost sight of him and began to panic. I whipped out my cell phone and woke Jeff's a$$ up explaining the situation in a not so calm voice. Right after I hung up, I heard what sounded like a stampede coming at me. Down at the bottom of hill I caught a glimpse of what was making the noise.

Three deer dashing across the base of the hill. Followed by none other than Shea. While it was quite a sight to see, I was somewhat nervous for a few reasons. One being they were headed toward that same four lane road in a full sprint, with no sense of caution. I also imagined that three deer, much bigger than Shea, may figure out that they outnumbered this silly white dog and that they were quite a bit bigger. With this, they could beat the crap out of him.

As fast as I am, I could not keep up with three deer and Shea. Back over in the park, thinking I would never find my boy, he was laying down, plop in the snow where we normally play. I could have killed him, but I called him with my friendliest puppy voice. Apparently, he wasn't buying it as he took off again. He must have sensed that I was a little upset with him.

At this point, however, Jeff had shown up at the park with the car. As soon as Jeff hopped out and called out Shea's name, he came running and jumped right into the car. Not quite the way I like to start my day, but more than anything, I thank God my boy made it through his deer hunting experience safely.

The Alley Oop

There was a dunk episode in Jeff's game tonight. Let's not talk about it. I just want you to know that there was a something, something going on with a dunk. Jeff's team won, so we will simply leave it at that.

I wanted you to know about the dunk, because it really got me thinking. Even as a women's basketball player, I strongly prefer men's basketball. However, dunking episodes such as tonight would never happen in a women's basketball game, unless we are talking about Candice Parker.

Well, in case you were unsure, we are not talking about Candice Parker. I, personally, know all to well that dunking just doesn't happen in the women's game.

Back about eight years ago now, I was playing pick-up ball with a group of guys at my college. A few of the guys playing played on the men's team. One of the guys on my team, Pat, was the team's 6'8'' center and leading scorer and rebounder. He was good. Every game or two you could be sure that Pat would throw it down.

You can imagine my excitement when I stole the ball and Pat and I had a fast break together. Just the two of us. I looked at him and he was shaking his head in approval. I knew just what he meant. Don't you? Yea, he was saying, "lay it up, Alicia. Get the easy two points." So, I shook my head back at Pat, smiling slightly, and then went up for a nice easy lay up.

Is that what you were thinking? Well, it wasn't at all what Pat was thinking. His head nod really meant "throw it up there for me to slam it home." He wanted the alley oop. After the play, in his disappointment, he asked me why I didn't set him up. My response was simply, I had never even thought about it. It's not like I play with people I can throw alley oops to very often.

Pat went on to play in a semi-professional league (and apparently throw electricity from his arms). He has certainly had the opportunity for alley oops since that pick-up game eight years ago. I, on the other hand, have never had the chance to throw the oop. Not yet anyways.

Sleep Showering

In the past two nights I have gotten minimal sleep. We hear of horror stories of people falling asleep behind the wheel every once in a while. While I had the desire to close my eyes at all points throughout the day, I resisted the urge, especially while driving.

Once I got home, all I wanted to do was take a nap. Shea had a tiring day at doggie daycare and Jeff had to go out recruiting tonight. I had all the peace and quiet I could possibly need to take a nice little snooze. But, you guessed it, it was a failure. No matter how long I lay there on the couch begging the good Lord for some shut eye, it did not come. 

Then, it all came crashing down on me. A total wipe out in the least expectant place. There I was, taking a nice warm shower, when I suddenly found myself waking up to a facefull of water. It wasn't quite as dramatic as this:

But, at least I got a little rest. 

Grape Money

I am highly appalled at the skyrocketing price of grapes. One of my favorite foods is now going for $3.99 a pound. I find it quite heartbreaking, as I like to eat two pounds of grapes a day. This would make for a pricey habit.

The rising prices could not keep me from buying a bag of grapes yesterday. I made a pact to myself to eat them sparingly so that they last a few days. And, really, I was doing that.

As I rationed my grapes, I decided to have a small snack this afternoon. Holding the bag in my lap, I savored them as I ate one at a time. One grape, I noticed, was quite large. I popped it into my mouth and must not have chewed enough, for it got stuck about half way down. I tried coughing it up, and when that didn't work, my gag reflex came into play.

Lucky for me, I had a bag conveniently sitting on my lap. As the grapes I had just eaten came back up, I held my bag out and filled it with mush. While I was relieved I didn't choke to death, I was rather pissed off that the grapes I spent $4 a pound on were now no good. Money wasted.

Stocking Stuffers

Christmas has come and gone. We exchanged gifts Friday night at my parents house, yesterday morning at Jeff's parents, and then with each other when we arrived home last night. From the simplest gifts Jeff got me, I know he is trying to sabotage me.

First came the stocking stuffers.

Jeff knows darn well I will not be baking any chocolate and peanut butter chipped cookies. I will tear these bags open and eat theses chips five handfuls a day until they suddenly disappear. I can't help it. Some would call it a lack of self control. 

However, there is one thing that I seem to have even less self control around. I've discussed it before and I really and truly have an illness: Nut-el-uh

Nutella is the ruler of my world. When it is in the house I cannot concentrate on anything else. I simply have to have it. My way to avoid the Nutella overload is to not buy it. Jeff, on the other hand, thinks I should indulge. Therefore, he bought me, not one, but two, king sized jars of Nutella. I hadn't even known these giant sized tubs even existed.

Since Nutella has a knack for calling my name, I had broken into the first jar less the 12 hours after I had unwrapped them. So yeah, these things that were in my stocking will certainly stuff me! 

The Bar of Coolness

When my mother asked me what I'd like for dinner tonight, only one thing popped into my head. It wasn't sunny side up eggs, chicken cacciatore, or grilled shrimp. All I could think of was broccoli casserole. 


Being the great mother that she is, she threw together a nice dish of it for me. And boy was it delicious. I haven't had it in quite sometime, and the taste almost made the wait worth it. In fact, besides sharing about 4 spoonfuls of the casserole, I housed the entire thing myself. 

This was a wonderful reminder of my favorite dish as a kid. Weird kid, I know. Broccoli was the staple in my favorite food. In fact, in third grade, we were asked to bring in a favorite recipe that our parents made to make a class cookbook. Of course, the pages of this cookbook were filled with cookies, brownies, and cupcakes: all desserts. All desserts, except for one. A broccoli casserole recipe to be exact. And that is how I set the bar of coolness way back in the third grade. 

Alert Dog

Last night at this time I was fast asleep. Not in the comforts of my own bed, but in the front seat of the car, while Jeff kindly drove us to New York. We arrived safely to my parents house around 2 a.m.

I'd like to tell you something fun and exciting happened upon our arrival but it didn't. My mother woke up and came downstairs, because she still has that ear for the "kids" coming in from when my brother, Nick, and I were teenagers. We definitely could never sneak in.

I always thought nobody could sneak on on me either. This is all for a different reason than having "ears for kids," though. I was led to believe this because I have always envisioned Shea as a guard dog. Ok, not a guard dog per say. More like an alert dog. He would at least let you know someone was coming in. He wouldn't guard anything, in fact, he would offer it with exuberant excitement and kisses, but like I said, he'd at least alert.

Well, I feel as though I say this too much, but, I was wrong. Tonight, not unlike many other nights, I walked into my parents house to find the big guy looking like this:

Heck of an alert dog, huh?

Deluxe Christmas Cookies

Getting in the Christmas spirit was easy for me. I owe it to Jeff, who way back before Thanksgiving, set my radio to the all-Christmas music channel. Since then, I've been humming a merry tune non-stop. But, not until last night did I bake some Christmas cookies.

Since I am not the greatest cook, baking included, once the cookies were baked, I had to pick and choose the best, most edible ones. I decorated and frosted them all nice and pretty, and then put them into little baggies with ribbon. My ultimate plan was to pack them into the reindeer basket I had bought and give it to my boss. They looked so good, I knew it didn't even matter that they only tasted okay. 

Pleased with the result, I brought the basket upstairs to put with my things so I would not forget them in the morning. I am always sure to close my door, but last night, I made sure it was extra tight because I knew my little buddy, Shea, had his nose after those cookies. 

In the morning, we went through our normal routine. After our run, however, we usually go right upstairs and Shea lays by the bathroom while I shower. Today is garbage day, so before I headed upstairs I had to get the garbage out to the curb. Before we left for our morning run, I hung my sweatshirt up on the doorknob to the cookie-storing room. Something I never do. Something that prevented the door from latching when I shut it.

When I got up the stairs, I noticed the door to the cookie room was nosed open. I immediately knew why. I screamed for him to stop and that prompted Jeff out of bed. Shea's reaction was simply, "grrrrrrrrr." In translation, "these are my cookies." All that was left in his destruction was a few crumbs and scraps of bags. 

I explained the entire happening to my boss, and apologized for giving her the cookies that I originally deemed not good enough. When returning home in the afternoon, Shea-man was off the wall out of control. Some may attribute it to the dozen-plus cookies he ate. 

Dirty Laundry

A few days ago Jeff asked politely if I had happened to do any laundry. Unfortunately, I had thought about it, but fell asleep before I got to it. Jeff giggled at the fact that I had fallen asleep and failed at my wifely duties. However, neither of us were laughing the next morning.

With laundry baskets heaping with dirty clothes, you would have to think we were running low on clothes. Turns out, we were. Jeff awoke early on Saturday morning and I noticed he decided on questionable attire. I figured maybe he was tired and not fully aware of the decisions he was making, for he simply had boxers on and then proceeded to put his sneakers on.

I couldn't help but ask where the heck he was going. When he said work, I immediately asked if he realized all he had on was boxers. The response to that was simple, as he had nothing else to wear. 

Thank goodness he had a brand new t-shirt downstairs. As for his bottoms, I'm not exactly sure what he threw on over his boxers (if anything). I was too busy sleeping. I mean it was Saturday morning! 

Latitude Stalking

Jeff came home excited about a new app the other day. Of course I asked about it, but he would not give an explanation. Instead, he grabbed my phone, proceeded to download, and preface it with, "you'll see."

Once I did see, I thought it was pretty cool. The app is called Google Latitude. On Google Latitude you can develop your own friends list. Then, the Latitude part comes in when you click on their names. A map pops up and you can see exactly where they are located. Whether it be New York City, Cleveland, Ohio, or Bristol, Connecticut.

I thought it was so cool as we looked at it. There we both were on the map, sitting right next to each other, because, well, in real life we were right next to each other. I was impressed with the accuracy and thought that Jeff had really found a good app. Until I got thinking about it. 

What if I want to surprise him somewhere? What if I want to secretly go shopping? What if I want to go to the bank and hide money from him? I couldn't do any of that if I wanted to anymore. Jeff (and all my Google Latitude friends) will always know where I am whenever he wants to. Only having had the app for 2 days, it has already come to bite me in the a$$. 

Sometimes, on occasion, I like to have ice cream for lunch. This is a bad habit I developed with a mom and pop ice cream shop a few blocks down from my former school. Anyways, the itching for an ice cream lunch crept up just yesterday. So, knowing there was an ice cream shop right down the street where I happened to be, I decided to fulfill my desire. 

Wouldn't you know, just at that time, Jeff had decided to show a friend of his how the new app works. He used me as the example. His buddy, being a Clevelander through and through, took one look at the map on the screen and where it was pinpointing me and knew exactly what little strip mall I was at. With that, Jeff knew exactly where I was. Being the smart man that he is, he simply knew I was getting ice cream. 

When I got back into my car, with my ice cream happily in hand, I received a text from Jeff calling me out about where I was. Dare I ask: what's next? Will he be able to see that the ice cream was a large twist covered in rainbow sprinkles? 

A Garden Salad

There was a Christmas party tonight. I had an important job. Actually, that is an understatement. It was a very important job! I had to pick up the food. Without the food, there would be no party. So basically, per usual, the party wasn't going to start until I showed up.

My trip to the Q-doba to pick up the food was a pretty funny one. I mean, I accomplished my goal, leaving with the food, but not without, of course, a small episode of awkwardness in between. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed a police car pulling in at the same time. The police around here are really out to give tickets, so I immediately tense up and drive worse than I normally do. Trying to keep one eye on Mr. Copper and the other on the parking lot, I grazed the curb and wondered if he noticed. Maybe he'd think I was drunk. I decided not to shop around for the best parking spot and just to park. Don't push my luck.

I walked into Q-doba and had to wait for the seven giants bags of food to be brought out to me. While standing there, the cop came in. A young, short, stout man, he looked me up and down, up and down. I felt as though he were violating me in a way. Then, catching me completely off guard, he sheepishly said, "Your probably going to have the garden salad, huh?" Muted by the awkwardness of this man, I think my response was a grumbled laugh combined with a sarcastic, "yea."

I realize I have nice, muscular, athletic legs. That of course would be the reason he was looking me up and down like that, right?

Ok, I lied. Maybe it was because my sweatpants were super hot.

I wonder what he thought about that garden salad when I left with a few bags full. Enough to feed 25 people. 

Huntin Deer

Apparently it's hunting season, and someone wants everyone to know!

Ugly Is As Ugly Does

I guess it is time to write about Ugly 3, now that I have fully recovered. Really, no it didn't, I have just been waiting for the gracious host to publish the pictures. I feel as though a picture says a thousand words, and now that she has provided the pictures, there are a few thousand words! Check them out:

 

My ugly a$$ husband

Showing off his stuff

Ugliest couple you'll find

 

As you can see, it was quite a time. Several times throughout the night I overhead people saying how outrageously ugly Jeff's outfit was. Defending his championship, he was again deemed the ugliest. I'm so proud of him! 

Buying Ugliness

Tomorrow is a big night. Jeff must defend his ugly sweater title. All I can do is help.

Our mission began a few weeks ago. Goodwill store after Goodwill store. Weeding through all of the disgustingly green and red Christmas clothes. It's so hard to find the ugliest when faced with such ugliness. After spending way more money than I had ever anticipated on next to new, ugly clothes, I brought my findings home to show Jeff hoping he would feel as though they could compete with his award winning ugliness of last year.

That lovely ensemble is stored away for safe keeping. Retired for now, but you never know when it may make a Brett Favrish return. Not this year. That's for sure. Jeff was pleased with the piece I had chosen for him. However, he felt it needed more. Something to compliment it by clashing. 

He picked up the finishing touch just yesterday, along with some extra accessories for the both of us. This is definitely a plus, since there is some extreme competition out there! 

I will certainly report back after the party goes down. I'm not one to jump the gun, but think Jeff's got the title in the bag for the second consecutive year. 

A Shocking Revelation

Jeff conveniently works five miles from Shea's doggie daycare. The place is also located just one small turn out of my direction line to work. A great place for Shea to spend the days we anticipate him being along for too long. Today was one of those days. Jeff dropped the big guy off this morning and left work around five p.m. to pick him up. Remember now, he only works five miles from the Metro-bark. Therefore, it should only take him a few minutes to get there and then the nine miles to our house.

I only mention this because today, it took Jeff an astounding 4 hours to go that total of 14 miles. Ridiculous right? Wait until you hear why! Apparently, the city of Cleveland did not realize that this is in fact the city of Cleveland and it snows here. A shocking revelation. When snow falls, the roads need to be plowed. Something the municipalities failed to do today as we were bombarded with lake effect snow. Driving through the roads of downtown Cleveland, even the highways, was like trudging through uncharted territory.

It has snowed now for four days straight. I am worried if it doesn't stop soon, my grandmother may be right: the end of the world is near!

Broken Vows

I made a vow to Jeff a few years ago. I'm not talking about my vow to have and to hold or to love and cherish. I mean, yea, I made those vows too, but I'm talking about the vow to never dress our precious dog in clothing.

This rule came to be after my mother had gone to some sort of pole dancing event and returned with a feathery blue and white boa. In hopes of torturing Shea, we wrapped the boa around him and he sat happily looking like a cross dressing drag dog. When Jeff saw the evidence, he was not happy!

I can't blame him really. I have never quite understood dogs wearing clothes. So, since that day of goofing around with Shea, I have been sure to never do it again. I even immediately remove the bandanas they put on him after he gets a good bath. Jeff doesn't need to see that!

With explaining this, I have a confession. No, Shea has maintained his masculinity. He runs around outside in nothing more than a collar. But, this little Roxy girl we are dog-sitting for has caused me to break my vow.

When she arrived at our home, her owner had looking nice and fashionable in her tan sweater. I nearly broke out in laughter, but being as this was the first time I'd met either of them, I controlled myself. Again, I had to hold back laughter as I looked through Roxy's things and found two more shirts. There is no need for them. None at all.

My first morning with Roxy, a chilly mid-30's type of morning, I brought her outside to run around the block. By the time we got home, the poor little girl was shaking she was so cold. To save her from this pain, you better believe I put that darned sweater on her that night. And now, with temperatures dropping into the low 20's, I can't bare to take her outside without her sweater. I actually wish, for the sake of her tiny little paws, that she had booties to match.

Shovel Cash

It snowed non-stop today. In fact, it is supposed to continue until tomorrow night at 7 p.m. This could end up being quite an accumulation. And since the plow guy won't call me back, I had to break out the new shovel this afternoon.

As I was working away, a kind neighbor came over to help for a little while. I thanked him greatly and was reminded of my blessed youth. In the spring, summer, and even the fall, it was easy to guess what me and my buddy, Timmy, would be doing. You could find us swimming, shooting hoops, playing pickle, football, or pitch and catch. The list could go on and on, but we were outside, playing some sort fun, active game.

When winter rolled around, however, we couldn't necessarily play the same type of games. We had to get creative. Sure, we built snowmen and snow forts, and went sledding and had snowball fights, but one day, we came up with a brilliant idea. Actually, a money-making idea. 

Without anyones knowledge, Tim and I lugged our parents' shovels over to our neighbor's driveway and began shoveling away. Our little bodies managed to clear Walter's driveway. After we did, the money-making part of the plan kicked in. With the red cheeks on our cute little faces, we rang Walter's doorbell and informed him that we had shoveled his driveway. Then, we simply asked, "What are you going to pay us?" 

As I look back, it was quite an assumption that Walter would pay us. Of course he did. And of course, once my mother got word of this, we had to return the money and apologize. Even though I lost the money, however much it was, I don't remember, I can't help but think about it and smile. Especially after I finished shoveling my driveway and curled up with a blanket in the glow of my beautiful (and now decorated) Christmas tree. 

Touring

My mother and aunt flew in last night for a visit. Wanting to have Shea greet them, I stood in the freezing cold outside the airport. I saw them come out of the airport doors and immediately walked their way, expecting Shea to drag me due to his uncontrollable excitement. He walked right by them. However, once he got a good whiff of my mother's behind, he remember who she was and was nearly paralyzed by his tail wagging.

Today, I wanted to show them one of the secret gems of Cleveland. Early this afternoon we headed to the west side of the city to hit up the Westside Market. The best way to explain the Westside Market is as an indoor/outdoor (depending on the season) farmer's market. But, in reality, it is so much more. The entire time we were there they were continually complimenting how wonderful the place is.

I was pretty sure nothing could top the excitement of the Westside Market. But, in hopes of continuing our good day, we headed over to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Turns out it is just as wonderful in a completely different way. I personally enjoyed the Michael Jackson outfits and the exhibit on how music players have evolved over time. The darn place does not allow photography so I only have one, dismal photo of my aunt and I with the MJ guitar.

They do, however, take your photo as you enter the Hall and allow you to purchase them for a steep price. Yes, they were bought. If no other reason than to commemorate our great time and wonderful day.

Mayhem

I don't want to talk about it. Really, I don't. While the experience was amazing and definitely worth the

cash, it was painful at the same time. 

With the game, Cavs fans are up in arms again. Not because Lebron threw the powder up in the air prior to tip-off. 

Although that obviously didn't sit well with them. They weren't up in arms over Lebron laughing at their attempt to insult him.

Nobody was happy about his laughter, but it wasn't the straw that broke Cleveland's back. While we all chanted, F - You Lebron, something else was actually going on.

Lebron was f-ing us with his 38 points in something like 28 minutes. A complete drubbing.

So, what really upset Cavalier fans, was that we came ready. Loud, energetic, pumped up for the game with rally towels in hand.

But the Cavs, they decided to take a 40 minute nap after 8 minutes of good, aggressive play. They basically did exactly what they have been doing the past seven years. They stood around and watch Lebron do his thing. A big boo to that!